Focus on your goals to put them within reach

You get what you’re fixated on, so get rid of the negative thoughts and distractions and focus on what's important to you

Focus on your goals to put them within reachThe news is filled with folks complaining. From politics to economics and everything in between, people are focused on what we don’t have rather than what we do. It’s such a deeply-rooted problem that it makes me wonder if our focus is the primary culprit for all the unhappiness we perceive. When we imagine ourselves…

Relax, everything is going to turn out just fine

Burning desires are tense; detachment is relaxed and open. Get what you want by stressing less about outcomes

Relax, everything is going to turn out just fineSome of the biggest conflicts we face are about the frustration we feel when we don’t follow through and achieve what we’ve set our minds on. This causes us to become prickly in our relationships and take our irritation out on others. When I first started working in law enforcement, there were all kinds of…

Turning your sense of failure into success

Believing you can't do something won't get problems solved. Find a way if you truly want a happy life

Turning your sense of failure into success“I can’t manage everything by myself anymore, I’m completely stressed out! From being responsible for all the meal planning to childcare responsibilities to cleaning the house, there’s no romance, no time for friends, no time to read. Something has to give.” These were the first words spoken when I sat down with one of my…

Your body reflects your emotions, so loosen up

Here's how you can react physically to cope when the mental pressures of the world start to weigh on you

Your body reflects your emotions, so loosen upRobert, as a hyperactive child, was constantly told to stop fidgeting. When he felt the urge to fidget, he remembered his mother’s disapproval and clenched his fists and held his arms rigidly at his sides. He spent so much of his life clenching his fists and holding himself rigidly that he appeared stiff and lifeless.…

Let me up, I’ve had enough … of rampant rudeness

Beside being tired of people playing the race card and gender inequality protests, I’m sick of people taking sides in an argument where they lack the basic facts

Let me up, I’ve had enough … of rampant rudenessI’ve had it! It is not like me to rant and rave, but honestly, our ability to behave in civil ways is on the decline. It may even be so far down the priority list that it may never truly return. I’m sick of people taking sides in an argument when they lack the basic…

What do you love enough to change your life?

If we don’t know what we want for ourselves, then we’re doomed to live a life of someone else’s choosing

What do you love enough to change your life?My eyes have been glued to the television watching Canada’s Olympic hopefuls put their hearts, bodies and minds on the line as they chase a gold medal. Afterwards, when interviewed, these athletes articulate how long they’ve dreamed of this moment. They talk of the hard work and perseverance that have culminated in this day, this…

Intimacy requires constant nurturing

When conflicts create added pressure, focus on opportunities that promote a sense of belonging and a sense of significance within your relationship

Intimacy requires constant nurturingThe third instalment of the Fifty Shades of Grey movies was released in time for Valentine's Day. This has certainly been a catalyst for some pretty interesting conversations on respect, fidelity and experimentation. If your relationship is strong and boundaries are communicated well, experimentation can work. However, I tend to work with the fallout when…

Feeling stressed? Think and behave like an Olympic athlete

A few tips on how to perform better under pressure – and how to answer (or ignore) the questions after

Feeling stressed? Think and behave like an Olympic athlete“A gentleman does not lose control of his temper. … Exhibitions of anger, fear, hatred, embarrassment, ardour or hilarity, are all bad form in public,” wrote Emily Post. The Winter Olympic Games in PyeongChang, South Korea, are about to get underway. Sometimes I’m grateful that this only happens every four years. It’s one of those…

The trouble with lusting after status

It’s inherently human to want to be significant in some capacity. But if the price requires sacrificing civility and honour, we've lost ourselves

The trouble with lusting after statusStatus is a constant in human life, although much of the time we don't think about it because it's everywhere and takes so many forms. It’s been said that “if it doesn’t happen on YouTube, it didn’t happen.” But are those messages helping or hindering? Are we unintentionally inviting individuals to seek their moments of fame…

Is your enthusiasm undermining your message?

Present your big ideas in a way that meets group needs and you might find that they’ll support your plans. Push too hard and they won’t even hear you

Is your enthusiasm undermining your message?It’s no secret that we all have different styles when it comes to communicating. Some people are articulate communicators and others aren’t. Some people get right to the point while others tell a story first. Mix communication styles and add emotion and it’s likely that important elements will be missed entirely. Take this example: Justin…

You are what you focus on

Sometimes the biggest upgrade needed to help you see what’s possible is to ruthlessly shift what you’re focusing on most

You are what you focus onWe had a fabulous dinner party last weekend where lively conversations and interesting perceptions were shared about relationships, friendships and new experiences. At the end of the wine, there was some agreement that the biggest obstacle facing most people who find themselves with a bit of bleak outlook is that they’re inviting in that perspective.…

Let 2018 be the year you show a new attitude of gratitude

Nothing good will come from whining and complaining. Put that mental energy into making the situation better

Let 2018 be the year you show a new attitude of gratitudeI have a Facebook friend who posted some insights into the challenging year she coped with in 2017. She talked about how much time had been wasted focusing on events that happened outside her physical control. At the end of a fairly long note, she concluded that being a person who refused to complain about…

Landlord-tenant conflicts often come down to respect

Most conflicts would simply evaporate if everyone took the time to adhere to some simple and fundamental courtesies

Landlord-tenant conflicts often come down to respectWhy are tenants and their allies already protesting landlords in Vancouver as 2018 dawns? They’re outraged that a landlord would have the audacity to apply for an eviction order to remove a tenant who hasn’t paid the rent. How inconsiderate of them. And a few of those landlords are trying to make repairs to their…

Not feeling the holiday magic?

There are no perfect holidays. Accept your limitations and honour those activities that make you feel good when you do them

Not feeling the holiday magic?Not feeling it this season? Started getting stressed as soon as you saw the Christmas decorations go up the day after Halloween? I’m guessing that it’s not because you’re famous for being able to give the Grinch a run for his money. You can get by most of the time without people thinking your heart…

Taking the stress out of Christmas, preserving the joy

Christmas isn’t about gifts, a blanket of snow, a crackling fire and carols. It's about family, and creating warm memories

Taking the stress out of Christmas, preserving the joyIt was cold the other day – really cold. As I sat in a coffee shop with a cup of tea, preparing to answer a few emails during a break from Christmas shopping, I noticed four shivering teens – opting for fashion instead of warmth. They ordered hot chocolates, then headed to a far corner of…