Divide and conquer: how to deal with harsh criticism

We have a tendency to fixate on the most devastating of critiques, rather than focusing on the ones that offer honest, objective and useful feedback

Divide and conquer: how to deal with harsh criticismIs it just me or do others find themselves overly fixating on criticism about your performance? I wasn't sure I had a thick enough skin after the first reviews came in when I began speaking professionally (and I was in law enforcement at the time). I prepared, practised delivery and made every effort to ensure…

The tiny facial cues that can tip you off

Picking up the early cues gives you more time to take action, change what you’re doing or prepare for what’s coming next

The tiny facial cues that can tip you offDuring the recent B.C. election, I had lots of questions about how to interpret non-verbal communication cues. Let’s focus on the micro cues on faces. Not the obvious raised eyebrows and downturned mouth expressions, but some of the not-so-obvious signals – like skin colour change. When someone is described as “hot around the collar,” they’re experiencing a…

Make a back flip over your fear

If fear is putting you in an inner conflict, try collaboration instead of fighting and imagine a more triumphant outcome

That which we resist persists – but you can change all that! A young gymnast has been working with me on elevating her performance. Despite being exceptionally talented and scoring well on the bars and mat, she recently developed a completely debilitating fear of the balance beam. When pressed about the problem, she described a fear of falling;…

How we deal with conflict is all a matter of perspective

When you change the context in which a behaviour occurs, the behaviour itself is transformed

How we deal with conflict is all a matter of perspectiveHow we deal with objections and problems is often just a matter of how we frame those problems. Our ability to quickly thin slice information can keep us alive by allowing our minds to make rapid assessments. But although this ability to spot patterns unconsciously has evolved as a valuable gift to communication, it has…