Managing boundaries without emotion or nasty payback

We’re often reluctant to establish a line when dealing with others because we don’t want to be seen as difficult. So instead we stew in our anger and resentment

Managing boundaries without emotion or nasty paybackHave you ever lived near or worked with someone who seemed to have a problem respecting personal space? About 15 years ago, a neighbour decided he wanted to build a garage. There was a tree on his property line that he didn’t want to take down, so he figured he would just appropriate needed space…

What has all this togetherness done to your relationship?

Besides creating an economic crisis, COVID-19 is bringing conflict into some homes. Rate (and improve) your relationship

What has all this togetherness done to your relationship?Not all of us are living happily ever after. Are you surprised? I didn’t think so! If absence makes the heart grow fonder, the opposite might also be true about too much time spent together in close quarters. A former colleague recently told me that call volumes for domestic disputes are on the rise. This…

Taming the irrational beast called anger

When strong negative emotions kidnap the thinking brain, we become scarcely more coherent than a wild animal

Taming the irrational beast called angerYou may have seen a video recently of a man punching a fellow pedestrian who he felt took his photo without authorization. Once the video was released, the man came forward and apologized for what he called his uncharacteristic behaviour. Whether it’s a result of stress, the state of the world or a variety of…

Horribly haywire: why communication falters

None of us are at our best when our boundaries are being pushed

Horribly haywire: why communication faltersWe've all heard the nursery rhyme “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” But we know better. In fact, we know all too well that words can hurt and so does the interpretation of our nonverbal behaviours (like not paying attention, interrupting or day dreaming when someone is speaking).…

How to move on from hurt feelings and bad situations

You have every right to choose a new path, but make sure you're not overreacting based on your own insecurity or a misinterpretation of the situation

How to move on from hurt feelings and bad situationsThere are infinite ways our feelings get hurt – and a few clear ways to deal with such circumstances. Perhaps someone expressed a thought unkindly. You found yourself reacting to a perceived slight. Maybe you spent a good deal of time working on a project only to have your name missed when the recognition was…

Resolving your inner conflict and getting off the couch

All lasting change has to happen in the subconscious mind if you're going to get meaningful results

Resolving your inner conflict and getting off the couchChoosing new paths in life, and finding the confidence to stay on those paths, is all a matter of programming. We all promise ourselves we'll take action in areas of life, yet fail to find the inner resolve to follow through. The inner conflict can carry on for years, undermining our resourcefulness and confidence in getting new behaviours…

How to communicate when the heat is on

Getting your message across effectively can be difficult while giving a presentation, or during a job interview or when dealing with an upset person

How to communicate when the heat is onCommunication can be a real challenge. When you're feeling pushed, it's that much harder. Whether you’re giving a presentation, attending a job interview, dealing with an upset person, or simply conversing at work or in your personal life, ensuring you get your message across – and, equally important, hearing what the other person is saying…

Six steps for navigating conflict effectively

Creative solutions to complex and challenging problems come from a willingness to constructively navigate civilized disagreements

Six steps for navigating conflict effectivelyConflict is natural and often unavoidable. But when emotion takes centre stage, it can lead to hostility. We've all encountered unproductive, frustrating or infuriating situations. We know how they make us feel. What's often less obvious is the degree to which nonverbal nuances contributed to the problem. Take the way our facial micro gestures (specifically around…

There is nothing scarier than our own imagination

Take your mind off automatic pilot and get it to work for you rather than against you

There is nothing scarier than our own imaginationWhen left to our own devices, we humans have the capacity to create 'worst case scenarios' that play around in our heads unchecked and often without boundaries. When this happens, it paralyzes us and prevents us from speaking up when someone hurts our feelings, springing into action on an exciting opportunity or doing what needs…

You don’t have to like someone to be polite

Don't waste your energy on something that is not worth wasting your energy on

You don’t have to like someone to be politeYou don’t have to love them, but life is so much easier when you are polite to people, regardless of how they behave toward you. Have you ever had to deal with offensive customers, or colleagues? It can be a real challenge to keep your cool when your inner voice is screaming, “You’re a jerk!…

Pulling the plug on anger before it ignites real trouble

Learn how to express your feelings in more productive ways and keep an explosive temper from hijacking your life

Pulling the plug on anger before it ignites real troubleAnger doesn't have to hijack your life. Anger is a natural emotion that helps protect us from real (or imagined) attacks against our physical or emotional well-being. When used appropriately, anger can motivate us to achieve goals we would otherwise be too afraid or lazy to pursue. In this way, anger may not be a big…

Seven steps to overcoming your frustration

Life is all about choices so if you're continually frustrated, you have chosen to remain that way

Seven steps to overcoming your frustrationHave you ever been frustrated? Probably a time or two! Frustration isn't actually a problem for most people; it's what we don't do about it that's the problem. Frustration frequently leads to worry, anger, inaction, and stress. So who needs frustration? No one. While you probably can't avoid frustration, you can do something about it.…

Why do women bully women?

Because they enjoy feeling powerful and they like it when their targets don’t stand up for themselves

Why do women bully women?I was once asked if it was true that 68 per cent of bullying is same-gender harassment. What a great question. I’ve always contended that girls can be more vicious than boys in many ways, especially when they are in middle school and high school. Unfortunately, it’s pretty much the same when they leave the…

When your child has problems at school

Regular open and honest communication with your child’s teachers is definitely the best policy

When your child has problems at schoolWhile your kids are at school, it may be a good idea to think about the important, even essential, relationship you and your child have with those people responsible for your child’s education: teachers. As a parent, you want nothing but the best for your child. When it comes to academics, you know for a…

How to deal with unreasonable people, and win

It's difficult to deal with idiots, but once you recognize the types you can build strategies to minimize their impact on your life

How to deal with unreasonable people, and winLife is a learning process: what works and what doesn’t; how to behave in public, with family and in the workplace; and especially what sort of people we want to be around and who we’d rather see sent to Mars. Even if it hurts to admit, we’re all guilty of behaving like idiots at times…
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