Do you suffer from a false sense of no confidence?

Remember, confidence is a process not a product. Allow the journey to begin

Do you suffer from a false sense of no confidence?What can you control in your life? Your health? What others think of you? How happy your lover is? The weather? Your finances? Your future? Your appearance? Your mood? Other people's moods? Can you control these things completely, or just influence them to some extent? If you’re at all like me, the words, “You can…

Horribly haywire: why communication falters

None of us are at our best when our boundaries are being pushed

Horribly haywire: why communication faltersWe've all heard the nursery rhyme “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” But we know better. In fact, we know all too well that words can hurt and so does the interpretation of our nonverbal behaviours (like not paying attention, interrupting or day dreaming when someone is speaking).…

How to move on from hurt feelings and bad situations

You have every right to choose a new path, but make sure you're not overreacting based on your own insecurity or a misinterpretation of the situation

How to move on from hurt feelings and bad situationsThere are infinite ways our feelings get hurt – and a few clear ways to deal with such circumstances. Perhaps someone expressed a thought unkindly. You found yourself reacting to a perceived slight. Maybe you spent a good deal of time working on a project only to have your name missed when the recognition was…

Why won’t you clean up after your dog?

Clearly signs don’t work; video surveillance isn't effective; handing the culprit a bag only works if you witness the event; and enforcement is hit or miss

Why won’t you clean up after your dog?When my husband and I set out to find a new home in a new community, we were delighted to buy a wonderful acreage that backed onto a municipal trail head. It seemed perfect. Since I work from home, I’d be able to get a daily walk in without ever having to jump into the…

Stop blaming others for your unhappiness

It's time to stop nurturing helplessness in our society and start encouraging respect, collaboration and personal accountability

Stop blaming others for your unhappinessYou can hardly watch the news without seeing some report of radical, violent behaviour. Protests and uprisings are surging, fuelled by anger, ignorance, resentment and clashes of emotional need. How did we get here? Researchers say we are wired to thrive in small villages of about 150 people. The Hutterites know this and still practise…

Finding that inner harmony that leads to a full life

Congruence, a deep honesty about who you are, is immensely attractive, draws people to you and reinforces your goals and ideals

Finding that inner harmony that leads to a full lifeBeing successful has a great deal to do with having your ducks in a row – or being congruent. At a meeting recently, one of the organizers explained how networking helped him go from redundancy to a lucrative business that he loved in less than two years. I could see why: there was something about him that…

Adults can behave worse than babies

A plane is no easy place to calm a crying child. Have compassion. Yelling won’t improve things. But there are ways to change the environment

Adults can behave worse than babiesMy husband spotted the situation first. Right next to him on the plane was the most adorable infant, possibly seven months old. “Oh no,” he mumbled. I smiled. He has headphones and we have grandchildren. Perhaps she would sleep the whole way. Not this time. She started fussing even before the wheels left the ground.…

Resolving your inner conflict and getting off the couch

All lasting change has to happen in the subconscious mind if you're going to get meaningful results

Resolving your inner conflict and getting off the couchChoosing new paths in life, and finding the confidence to stay on those paths, is all a matter of programming. We all promise ourselves we'll take action in areas of life, yet fail to find the inner resolve to follow through. The inner conflict can carry on for years, undermining our resourcefulness and confidence in getting new behaviours…

Self-discovery, one shovelful of snow at a time

Snow throws a lot at us. Our response to it can be seen in how we navigate the challenges of building a business, writing a book or tackling a project

Self-discovery, one shovelful of snow at a timeThe sun is shining, even if the air is still frigid, so I’ll take it. After several days of digging out my huge driveway – 100 metres, to be exact – and coping with drifting snow, even my most optimistic “Shovelling is a great full-body workout strategy” is feeling less than enthusiastic. I love the…

The critical social nuances of tolerance and respect

Tolerance is about how you treat people who disagree with you, even when you may not respect their point of view

The critical social nuances of tolerance and respect“Tolerance isn't about not having beliefs. It's about how your beliefs lead you to treat people who disagree with you.” – Pastor and theologian Timothy Keller There is much focus on teaching tolerance and respect these days, but what's this doing to society? Perhaps it’s best to start with what we mean by the terms…

How politicians manipulate our decision making

The recent federal election offered us a lesson on how the manipulation of a narrative can have dramatic impact on how we think and behave

How politicians manipulate our decision makingLike many Canadians, I was amused and entertained (and appalled) by the recent Canadian election. But beyond the entertainment factor, there was a lesson here about human behaviour which we need to take to heart. The spate of scandals (#MeToo, political interference in the legal system, racism, lapses in ethical behaviour, the Norman Affair)  surrounding…

Resolved: I will make this year’s resolutions work

As a new year dawns, it's important to know that the resolution game is a losing one unless you're willing to be positive and focused

Resolved: I will make this year’s resolutions workMost of us have a new year resolution in mind, even if we won't say it out loud. The trick is to make it stick. We want to accomplish something or make some improvement. Perhaps we want to lose weight, change jobs, stop consuming alcohol – or even find a life mate. Sadly, most of us probably already…

Can your ego manage repeated attacks?

When your ego is taking a bashing, staying objective and true to who you are can be difficult

Can your ego manage repeated attacks?When your ego is taking a bashing, staying objective and true to who you are can be difficult. But as Dr. Seuss said, “Be who you are and say what you want, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.” A good friend of mine has been struggling with leading a…

Time to stop feeling sorry for yourself

Victim stories negatively affect us and our attitude towards others and life, yet we all carry them around

Time to stop feeling sorry for yourselfAs much as we hate to admit it, we've probably all told victim stories. We've certainly had them told to us. It's time to banish them. The victim story is the one you auto-share that alerts everyone (including yourself) that you've been wronged by someone or some unfair situation. The telling (and retelling) confirms the need to feel…

Not all habits are bad

In the world of sports for example, becoming successful is contingent on positive habits

Not all habits are badWhen we talk about habits, most of us immediately reflect on those we wish to break or remove. Habits like smoking, overeating, alcohol consumption, gambling and chewing ones nails, etc. seem an easy pattern to fall into, but stopping them somehow seems so much harder. We start out with such great intentions towards daily exercise…