An out of whack ego holds you back from becoming the strong, resilient and likeable person you can be
Do you think that the world revolves around you? Do you feel that you, and only you, can fix problems? Do you believe — no, not believe . . . know — that you are always right? In other words, does your ego need Spanx? According to the Oxford Dictionary, “ego” is “a person’s sense…
Regular open and honest communication with your child’s teachers is definitely the best policy
While your kids are at school, it may be a good idea to think about the important, even essential, relationship you and your child have with those people responsible for your child’s education: teachers. As a parent, you want nothing but the best for your child. When it comes to academics, you know for a…
10 recommendations for a modern leader-follower relationship
If you don't have followers then, let's face it, you are not leading (regardless of your title). Naturally Selected: The Evolutionary Science of Leadership, first published in 2011. seeks to answer the question of not only why some people lead but why most choose to follow. Taking an anthropological view of leadership styles through modern…
6 strategies to use to make your workplace more livable
Your boss is a bully (read: manipulator, control freak, tyrant, power junkie, obnoxious jerk). No matter how hard you work, you always do something wrong. No matter how many hours unpaid OT you put in, it isn’t enough. Your boss demeans you in front of your colleagues and then laughs it off as a "joke".…
It's difficult to deal with idiots, but once you recognize the types you can build strategies to minimize their impact on your life
Life is a learning process: what works and what doesn’t; how to behave in public, with family and in the workplace; and especially what sort of people we want to be around and who we’d rather see sent to Mars. Even if it hurts to admit, we’re all guilty of behaving like idiots at times…
These 7 facial gestures can denote deceit but also be the result of simple nervousness
Have you ever wondered if someone really wants to be in a conversation with you? Could you be unknowingly undermining your rapport efforts with your body language (and theirs)? As soon as we come into contact with others, before we even exchange one word, we are communicating. For this reason, understanding your own body language and having…
Bad neighbours are a fact of life, but before you end up in a feud, there are a few things you can do to find peace
Some neighbours are great. You visit over the fence, call when you need help and pitch in when the hard work needs to get done. But not all our neighbours are so fabulous. My son has a frustrating renter and a messy neighbour. The renter’s dog barks constantly. There are truck parts in the alley and somehow this…
Your face is an extraordinarily efficient instrument of communication
The expression “you should probably tell your face that” is a way of telling someone that their facial expressions don’t match the situation. Thousands of times a day, we are exposed to the opportunity to decode visual clues. When someone says “I love you,” we look into that person’s eyes as a means of detecting…
Yelling, regardless of how much you want to, is not an effective way to deal with the issue and will only make things worse
Have you ever had to hold a difficult conversation, the kind in which you have to get across a message that is very likely not going to be well received? (No, I’m not talking about explaining to your spouse why you spent all your retirement money backing your favourite hockey team, although that certainly falls…
Although he’s incredibly bright, he can require a bit of retraining daily and some consistent preparation before he goes to work
It’s January and a lot of us are talking about goal setting and getting healthy. But for many of us, stuff gets in the way of our priorities. Some of us want to avoid alcohol for a month as we renew our commitment to overall well-being. But we can easily be tempted to skip a workout,…
When you change the context in which a behaviour occurs, the behaviour itself is transformed
How we deal with objections and problems is often just a matter of how we frame those problems. Our ability to quickly thin slice information can keep us alive by allowing our minds to make rapid assessments. But although this ability to spot patterns unconsciously has evolved as a valuable gift to communication, it has…
Need help to quickly overcome your slump?
Have you ever noticed how much more productive you are when you are immersed in activities that sing to you? Me too. But I also realize that waking up and feeling you cannot face another day at your desk happens to all of us. Catch me on a high note and I am captivated, inspired…
People who have a calm perspective make better decisions than those who are stressed. And stress behaviour is self-perpetuating
It’s almost that time of year again – the shops are filling up, along with the roads, and people’s stress levels are increasing. Christmas is a time of tradition. Some people have huge family gatherings with relatives from all over the place, others prefer a quiet evening – fireplace, wine, blanket and time off work.…
We have a tendency to fixate on the most devastating of critiques, rather than focusing on the ones that offer honest, objective and useful feedback
Is it just me or do others find themselves overly fixating on criticism about their performance? I wasn't sure I had a thick enough skin after the first reviews came in when I began speaking professionally (and I was in law enforcement at the time). I prepared, practised delivery and made every effort to ensure…
Fear has the power to hijack our thoughts and behaviours, even when a new path makes sense or is harmless
I’m often fascinated by how rigidly some folks cling to the familiar, especially when it comes to being asked to do something novel. Not something dangerous – just unfamiliar. In my former career, this came up a lot, with leaders standing up in meetings and asking for “out of the box thinkers.” Then they would point…