Being excluded from a clique may actually be your fault
If you have ever been part of the leadership of a board, you have no doubt heard the complaint that your group is too cliquey. A Clique is any small group of people, with shared interests or other features in common, who spend time together and do not readily allow others to join them. This…
Because they enjoy feeling powerful and they like it when their targets don’t stand up for themselves
I was once asked if it was true that 68 per cent of bullying is same-gender harassment. What a great question. I’ve always contended that girls can be more vicious than boys in many ways, especially when they are in middle school and high school. Unfortunately, it’s pretty much the same when they leave the…
You really don't need to be in contact with everyone 24-7
Most of us have become almost totally dependent on technology – and in the process, many of us have lost the art of true communication. In many ways, being tech-connected in the 21st century means being disconnected from humanity. Certainly everyone has a story about how the digital world has let them down – the computer that…
Intimacy requires constant nurturing
Is monogamy dead, or is it a question of what is acceptable in your own personal relationship? There are those who certainly believe in monogamy above all else – physical and emotional – and then there are those who believe a relationship is stronger when partners are encouraged to engage in “open relationships”. I have…
An out of whack ego holds you back from becoming the strong, resilient and likeable person you can be
Do you think that the world revolves around you? Do you feel that you, and only you, can fix problems? Do you believe — no, not believe . . . know — that you are always right? In other words, does your ego need Spanx? According to the Oxford Dictionary, “ego” is “a person’s sense…
Regular open and honest communication with your child’s teachers is definitely the best policy
While your kids are at school, it may be a good idea to think about the important, even essential, relationship you and your child have with those people responsible for your child’s education: teachers. As a parent, you want nothing but the best for your child. When it comes to academics, you know for a…
10 recommendations for a modern leader-follower relationship
If you don't have followers then, let's face it, you are not leading (regardless of your title). Naturally Selected: The Evolutionary Science of Leadership, first published in 2011. seeks to answer the question of not only why some people lead but why most choose to follow. Taking an anthropological view of leadership styles through modern…
6 strategies to use to make your workplace more livable
Your boss is a bully (read: manipulator, control freak, tyrant, power junkie, obnoxious jerk). No matter how hard you work, you always do something wrong. No matter how many hours unpaid OT you put in, it isn’t enough. Your boss demeans you in front of your colleagues and then laughs it off as a "joke".…
It's difficult to deal with idiots, but once you recognize the types you can build strategies to minimize their impact on your life
Life is a learning process: what works and what doesn’t; how to behave in public, with family and in the workplace; and especially what sort of people we want to be around and who we’d rather see sent to Mars. Even if it hurts to admit, we’re all guilty of behaving like idiots at times…
These 7 facial gestures can denote deceit but also be the result of simple nervousness
Have you ever wondered if someone really wants to be in a conversation with you? Could you be unknowingly undermining your rapport efforts with your body language (and theirs)? As soon as we come into contact with others, before we even exchange one word, we are communicating. For this reason, understanding your own body language and having…
Bad neighbours are a fact of life, but before you end up in a feud, there are a few things you can do to find peace
Some neighbours are great. You visit over the fence, call when you need help and pitch in when the hard work needs to get done. But not all our neighbours are so fabulous. My son has a frustrating renter and a messy neighbour. The renter’s dog barks constantly. There are truck parts in the alley and somehow this…
Your face is an extraordinarily efficient instrument of communication
The expression “you should probably tell your face that” is a way of telling someone that their facial expressions don’t match the situation. Thousands of times a day, we are exposed to the opportunity to decode visual clues. When someone says “I love you,” we look into that person’s eyes as a means of detecting…
Yelling, regardless of how much you want to, is not an effective way to deal with the issue and will only make things worse
Have you ever had to hold a difficult conversation, the kind in which you have to get across a message that is very likely not going to be well received? (No, I’m not talking about explaining to your spouse why you spent all your retirement money backing your favourite hockey team, although that certainly falls…
Although he’s incredibly bright, he can require a bit of retraining daily and some consistent preparation before he goes to work
It’s January and a lot of us are talking about goal setting and getting healthy. But for many of us, stuff gets in the way of our priorities. Some of us want to avoid alcohol for a month as we renew our commitment to overall well-being. But we can easily be tempted to skip a workout,…
When you change the context in which a behaviour occurs, the behaviour itself is transformed
How we deal with objections and problems is often just a matter of how we frame those problems. Our ability to quickly thin slice information can keep us alive by allowing our minds to make rapid assessments. But although this ability to spot patterns unconsciously has evolved as a valuable gift to communication, it has…