Men lie about their accomplishments, salaries, and status. Women, by contrast, lie to minimize their perceived deficiencies
I don’t mean that men tell more lies, or are better at lying. But men and women lie about different things. When men lie, it’s often to look bigger – taller, richer, more powerful and more sexually attractive. In both personal ads and in face-to-face conversations, men tend to “inflate” the numbers by saying they…
Team spirit can quickly disintegrate as individuals who feel that they are being discounted simply withdraw
You are brought into a room to play a computer game. On the screen you see your avatar, a computerized graphic that represents you in this virtual environment. You also spot the avatars for two other players, both of whom you assume are physically located with their own computers in similar rooms. At first it…
Discontinuous change is like leaping off a cliff while building your parachute on the way down
There are two kinds of change – incremental and discontinuous – that are taking place simultaneously and constantly in today’s business organizations. Incremental change is the process of continuous improvement – what the Japanese refer to as “kaizen.” Discontinuous change is the kind of large-scale transformation that turns organizations inside out and upside down. Incremental…
As a leader you must make it a routine part of your decision-making process to ask the question: Will this be perceived as equitable?
Let's play a game. Here are the rules: We'll be asked to split a sum of money. I get to make the split and you get to choose whether to accept or reject the split. And if you reject it, both of us will walk away empty-handed. Rationally, I should realize my advantage and offer…
Respecting another person's space can help you build rapport with your colleagues and close sales with your clients
As a consultant and professional speaker, I often travel by myself and frequently dine alone. This affords me the opportunity to combine two of my favourite pastimes: eating great food and watching people. One night at dinner in an ocean-side resort, I noticed a man and a woman seated across the room. It was a…
10 tips to insure that you make a great impression while you mix and mingle at the office party
Are you planning to attend your office holiday party? I hope so. This is a great occasion to relax and have a good time – and can be a highly anticipated, positive antidote to year-end stress. But anytime you combine fun with professionalism, it can also be a challenge. Here are 10 tips to insure…
Studies show it takes the brain just 200 milliseconds to gather most of the information it needs to determine a person's emotional state
It was a job interview, an important client meeting or even a sales call. You were dressed for success, rehearsed and ready to wow them. So what went wrong? Chances are you got off to a bad start – and that less-than-positive impression began before you said a word. Here are three small mistakes that…
Follow our tips and you'll be surprised at how well you can 'read the room'
Here is a tip that will quickly gain you the nonverbal advantage in any negotiation or important business meeting. Want to know what the biggest 'secret' to body language experts' success? They take the time to determine how a person acts under relaxed or generally stress-free conditions so that they can more accurately spot meaningful…
It is time for a new social contract between employers and employees
It's time for a new social contract between employers and employees. Chances are, if your organization is like many others described in numerous studies, half of your workers are doing just enough to get by, 25 per cent are totally turned off and only one quarter are usefully engaged in building your organization and helping…
As long as you know what they're saying
A study from the University of Chicago a few years ago found that the more gestures babies used at 14 months (shaking a head "no," raising arms to be picked up, pointing at an object of interest, etc.), the more words they had in their vocabulary at three years old. Which is no surprise to…
We know that men have a different workplace communication style than women, but does "different" mean better?
We know that men have a different workplace communication style than women – but does "different" mean better? Well, yes. And no. There are obvious strengths and weaknesses in the communication styles of both genders. Based on research project in which I collected responses from 387 employees and managers in the United States, Canada and…
The best educators could teach business leaders a thing or two about body language
The best educators could teach business leaders a thing or two about body language. Pygmalion in the Classroom, one of the most controversial publications in the history of educational research, showed how a teacher’s expectations can motivate student achievement. This classic study gave prospective teachers a list of students who had been identified as “high…
If you don’t look like you’re telling the truth, it won’t matter that you actually are
I once spoke to MBA students at the Stanford Graduate School of Business as part of a wonderful program called the Mastery in Communication Initiative. In its expert speakers’ series, Stanford invites “pioneers in the field of communication” to share their insights with business students. In my presentation, on “How to Spot Liars at Work…Need help breaking down that "silo mentality" in your company?
After every election, politicians say the same thing: "Now we have to reach across the aisle to work together for good of the people." And I hear similar proclamations (of working together for the good of all) from my corporate clients who are looking to break down the "silo mentality" of their companies. Sounds simple.…
The most successful people realize that there are always two conversations going on; so stay equally alert to what isn't being said
You may have "sales" in your job title. But if you are a leader announcing an organizational change, an entrepreneur pitching to a venture capitalist, or an employee on a job interview – you too are in sales. And in any situation where you are selling a product, a service, or an idea, engagement and…